Slacking

So i have really been slacking on this blog!

We are moving right along in our new cycle. I had an u/s yesterday and the tech asked if I was transferring in the next few days, I said not really, transfer isn't for 10 more days, she said my lining is good enough to transfer now, lol 18mm already! So, my lining isn't slacking at all. I have had a few dreams the last week that kinda scare me but hopefully they are a good sign that this transfer will work.

Picture of my new niece Ella Jane Long!


We have been very busy finishing up our little projects around the house before our company comes the end of the month. I have been hanging pictures and so forth. I will post pics of the after as soon as it is complete. I have some more wood to stain but it has been raining here for the last 3 days so I can't get all the wood out and done in between rain drops and I am not stinking up the house with fresh stain smell, lol

Kids' first day of no school, has been ok so far but it is only 10am so we shall see if I end up pulling any of my own hair out today or if I can hold out for a couple of more days, lol

baby showers and birthdays

Update on baby afghan I was/am making for my new niece. After searching and calling every store in a 100 minle radius I had given up on the blanket. I couldn't get the exact yarn, I couldn't find solid colors that I could so alternating rows to make it long enought to even be a blanket, so I had given up on the idea of finishing that particular one. We went to Walmart Friday night and Dylan says he is going 2 isles over to look at the yarn, I said don't bother we already checked here the other day. Well, he is stuburn and went anyways, he comes running back saying I found it I found it. And sure enough he found 1 that was kind of tattered and I thought that it was probably brought back and it was the only one they had and it wouldn't be enough anyways. But I walked over with him and on a shelf too high for him to see on, there was a beautiful site, 6 more yarns of the color I needed. yay!!! So, I didn't get the blanket done for the shower that was on Sat but I will finish it for the day she is born to take in to the hospital with me.

Speaking of the shower, it was super nice. I spent way too much money between throwing it and all the gifts I got, and had the kids get and I got something and put my Grandma that just passed aways name on. I made my first diaper cake it came out super cute, I posted a picture of it on SMO and had 2 people private message me for prices because they want me to make them one, lol Here's a pic.



These are the invitations we made for it, they are so stinkin cute


We celebrated Sissy's 4th birthday yesterday, I took a few pics to put in her scrapbook of the cake and some of the presents being opened. Wouldn't you know it, someone must have had my camera and they switched my settings to Tv, dont ask me what it stands for or what it is even used for but all the pics are so dark you can not even tell what they are of, I just wanted to cry when I discovered this, boohoo!

We had a princess cake and she had a little baby shower for her dolls, lol, we got her an umbrella stroller, playpen, floormat/play yard thingy, bouncer chair, diaper bag, my sister got her a new babydoll. She just loves it all. There was a time not so long ago that I was beginning to think she was just gonna always be one of the boys, lol, she wanted nothing to do with dolls (except of course for bunny) she didn't like dresses, etc. But in ht elast 6 months she wants to wear nothing but dresses and she calls herself and princess and loves princesses and now she is playing mommy, its so cute!

meds are here

I got my meds for the next cycle yesterday! Now to wait for May 19th to start actually using them. I got them all organized and ready to go. I feel so good going into this cycle.

I am making a baby afgan for my new niece Ella that is on her way, the babyshower is next Sat. I was only able to buy 3 of the needed 6 yarns the day I went, the store only had 3 and her coloring for the nursery are weird, pinks and browns, so I went with a multicolored yarn with pinks greens and browns to match. I had the lady order the color in for me, guess what!!! It is discontinued, and I already made half the blanket, so I can't take it back and get a different color, and I only have a week left!! AAAAHHHHHH So I am going to take it all out and go out and get a pink that matches the pink in the multicolored yarn and start from scratch, and did I mention I only have a week!! I really want ot have it done for the shower but I guess its not really all that likely at this point!! I will post pics of it when it is completed!

let the cycling begin

I am on day 3 of BCP's. I got my schedule yesterday!! I start Lupron injections again on May 19, I have my list of appointments and have my meds being delivered on May 8th. We will tentatively transfer June 14. I already have a better feeling about this time!! I feel we will have better results this time around.

Other life things going on... Mark has been remodling in the basement. We moved a wall and are putting in a bar to make a family room/entertainment area. I have the job of painting, ugh! Mark doesn't paint! I did the walls yesterday and will be heading down to do the ceiling when I am done here. The ceiling has small wooden beams that were all painted white before I got the idea of painting them to match the woodwork down there. Now I have to tape them all off and paint them without getting the dark brown on the ceiling, ugh! Why did I have to open my mouth? LOL

I have also been very busy crocheting a baby blanket for my coming niece and a cross stitch project with her name on it! Along with doing babyshower things. I guess it is keeping me busy while waiting for the next transfer, so that is good!

pics of my first surrotwins!!

So, I do not hear from my FIP's unless I first email them, I think that if I never emailed them again I would never hear from them again. It's a shame but something I have learned to cope with. I haven't heard a word from them since right before Christmas! I brokedown this morning and emailed them asking how life was and about each of the kids, I briefly told them about our failed transfer and what Spring has been like for us.

My FIM emailed me back briefly that everyone is doing well, babies are growning big (24 and 22 lbs) Still not walking because someone is always holding them and that they are well loved! But she also sent this pic, they are currently on vacation in Florida!

It just melts my heart to see them!! I am so glad, even though we dont have the picture perfect relationship now that I have done my part in bringing them into this world, that I got to be apart of something so wonderful!

Never updated...

So I never updated that the BETA was negative as I had feared. Griff is out of town on business, April 28th Sam and Griff have an appointment to get the next transfer underway. I am waiting for my period to come as I type, it will be here soon! I hope to know more the week of the 28th. Not sure if we will get in for a late June transfer or if it will be in July, either way we will get to take the kids to D.C. this trip which will be fun.

On other fronts, Mark bought the kids a go-cart last week and had to do some work on it. Wed night he got it working and decided to take it down our deadend road on a test drive. Well, I see him go past the driveway then the sound of the engine reved up and then it was quiet, so I figured the engine stalled out. Well, then my cell phone rings and Mark says in a very shaky voice, "I wrecked!" I ran for the truck and yelled for the kids to get int he house I'd be right back. I get to the end of the road and Mark is struggleing to get out form under the go-cart. He gets out and cant stand up. GREAT!!!!

Here the trottle stuck wide open, Mark thinks he was going at least 45 miles an hour and the breaks went out!!!d He hit the end of the deadend and the mud, and flipped end over end!! He luckily never hit his noggin, but he did sprain his ankle pretty bad. We went to urgent care and he was given an air cast and told to take tylenol or advil, they were so helpful, NOT!!! So, needless to say he was home Thur and Fri and all weekend, he better be going back to work tomorrow, lol

We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on Sat the 19th! We went to breakfast and then I did some yard work, lol We never do anything special, we kinda suck that way!! lol The weather was nice, I actually broke out he shorts and showed off my snow white legs, lol

I ran out to get my BETA (blood pregnancy test) right after Dylan got onthe bus this morning, got there at 8:50, didn't get the bllod drawn til after 10, ugh! I did some running around after that to waste time so that I wasn't here all day waiting for the phone to ring, lol I got home and there was a package on my front porch (some maternity clothes I had purchased off a friend online) She is the same lady that sells all of us surros cheap pee sticks. Well, I open the box and she included 30 pee sticks, she is so very nice, 30 can you believe that? Now I wont have to purchase more, although I probably will anyways, lol

As I was carrying my box, I noticed a note hanging on the door knob, a flower delivery place wanted me to call them. So, I call and they ask if I will be home for a while and I say yes. Within 10 minutes the truck was pulling in and the man handed me this...

They are from my IP's because my Grandma died, how very nice of them and it truely made me smile! Thank you Sam and Griff!! They are beautiful and smell so nice!

It's just about 4pm and I still haven't heard from the clinic yet about the BETA. I am anticipating a negative result, I tested negative on a home test just this morning! I am bummed to say the least and I know that Sam and Griff wil be as well, but the bright side of it is, we can (well they can) get in to the clinic to get the ball rolling again soon. Hopefully, we have better success the second time around! And we will get ot go down and spend more time with them in the summer, and take the kids to D.C. to do some site seeing. That will be fun!

She always said death comes in 3's

Well, my Grandma always, my moms mom, has said this and it always seems to work out that way in our family, or extended family. A few months ago, Marks Uncle passed away while working in the barn on Thanksgiving morning. Then in Feb my cousin, finally succumbed to breast cancer. Friday my Grandma passed, we have calling hours tonight and the funeral tomorrow morning. I feel bad that we didn't spend a whole lot of time with her. She was still working darn near 50 hours a week, at 69!!! She worked with mentally handicapped men, they all lived in a house and had around the clock care, but most of them went to work at Goodwill during the day. My Grandma stayed with them at night, she would clean the house and do laundry, cook breakfast and make sure everyone got their meds, etc, before going off to work. She loved her job, she loved her boys as she called them. My kids know her as the sucker Grandma, she always had a pocket full of dumdum suckers for the grandkids along with dog treats for any dog she came across. LOL I, so far, fell ok about the whole thing. She lived a long full life, she had 5 daughters that gave her 28 grandkids and we have given her 10 great grandbabies. I feel good that she got to see me and my brother, Pepper, get married. She will miss out on my other siblings weddings, though. She will miss out on my niece being born in 2 months. But she saw many granbabies and great grandbabies, and realistically we can't be around forever, now can we. I think I am numb to death in a way. I have seen far to many people that i care about die, starting at the young age of 9, when my stepdad, but the only true dad I have ever had, died on Christmas morning, right in front of us. That was very hard and sticks with you your whole life. It seems that I go to more funerals than I do happy events like weddings. That sucks!! The whole family has come together, even the realtives from florida, VA, and as far as Texas (we haven't seen my Aunt and her children, who now have children of their own, lol) in 15 or 16 years!! WOW. that alone makes me feel old!! Oh well, we will get through today and tomorrow and go on with life without Grandma here. but she was a big believer in angels and we all know that she is an angel watching over us all now and forever.

sorry to leave you all hanging

I feel like I have left everyone hanging as to if the transfer worked or not. I was really hoping to have some good news to share by now, but as of this morning the pee sticks are still stark white, not even a hint of color! I have been reassured that people on SMO have in fact gotten BFP's (positives) as late as 7 and 8 days after a 5 day transfer. We are now 6dp5dt as of 1PM today. So I guess we are not out of the running yet, but I am beginning to loose hope to tell you the truth. I have some weird things happening that only happen when I am prego but the pee sticks, even several different brands are not cooperating! I get this pulling sensation, like a sting attached from my groin to my belly button, I only get this while standing up while prego, well Thurs this sensation started up. It is not just in my head either, it truely exsists. LOL I also have had 2 bouts of dizziness upon standing, which also I get a little of at the very beginning of a pregnancy. So every morning I test, and I will keep this up til Wed when I have the blood test.

Please say prayers if that is your think, or just keep us in your thoughts the next few days. I will keep you posted!

Sam, I know I told you I wouldn't tell you about the BFN's but I know that you and Griff are sitting there wondering and by not telling at this point I feel like I am keeping things from you guys and I never want to do that. There is still hope that the next day or two will bring us a nice little surprise inthe form of a second line. But I also want you to be prepared if we need to start over come Wed! I love you guys, and we will get there, eventually!

been a while

So I know I haven't updated since we left for the transfer, I will take a few minutes to now.

Lets see, Friday, I had to finish packing for everyone. I had to run to Marks work to exchange trucks with our friend Mike, he has an extended cab Dodge Dakota with a cap onthe back in case it were to rain, which of course it was. Now we had room to sit comfy with sissy in the backseat and the luggage in the back protected by the cap. Then after the bus came at 3:30 I had to run Dylan to his dads to drop him off. Marks dad who was keeping Gage was over on this side of town so while I was gone delivering Dylan he came to pick up Gage. We loaded up the truck and hit the road at about 5:15. It was an uneventful drive, we stopped once for gas and to go potty. Sissy was very good and even slept about an hour or so. Mapquest was right on with the directions and we arrived at the hotel at 10:30. Then we ran into a snafu. the front desk took my itinerary and pulled everything up, but then asked me for the credit card it was booked under. I said my friend booked it for us, its her credit card, she faxed all the info to you on Mon to avoid this problem. So he goes to look for the fax, to no avail, I had to call Sam at 10:40PM!!! Ugh, but she faxed it again and we were in our room a mere 5 minutes later. Sissy who woke up during all of this. decided that she needed a bath before bed, lol So, while we settled in, sissy took a bath, then we went to bed.

We had free breakfast with our room, so we got up early and headed down to eat, yummy, I love breakfast, lol We then headed south to visit a friend of Marks from the Marines, Don, he is still serving (18years) and is stationed at Quantico. We visited with he ans his wife, Jen, for a while then we all decided to jjump int he car and go to the Marine history museum. It was fun! The Marines was a time before me, so it was fun to listen to them all talk. Jen was like one of the guys, she and Don married 14 years ago and Mark was at the wedding so they all had lots of memories to share. Of course I got to see some photos of all the good times they shared in Californina together.

Once we left the museum, we traveled north to hit the hotel to grab my shot that I didn't think of bringing with us when we left in the morning. We missed our exit for the hotel and made it almost all the way to Sam and Griffs before we were able to get off the interstate and turn around, lol! Got back to the hotel and noticed sissy had spilt her juice in her lap but she was sleeping so I let her sleep and ran to the room for a change of clothes and my shot. We finally make it to Sam and Griffs!! We all chit chatted a bit while Griff cooked burgers on the grill. We filled our bellies up, then moved to the play room to watch the girls play. Meredith is so little and just as cute as a button. Sissy and Meredith hit it off pretty well. They made a huge mess but had a good time doing so. I wish we would have had more time to just sit around and visit but we got there late and the girls need their beauty rest, lol, they are little princesses ya know!! LOL

So, transfer day! The embies weren't doing so well and we were told we "should" have 1 good one to transfer! Well, we got to the clinic and the waiting room was packed, they had some non-appointments just show up so it was a crouded house for a Sun. Griff and Sam drove separately so griff could leave at noon to get back to releave Grandpa of his babysitting duties. It was getting down to the wire, but luckily the nurse came out to get Sam and I right as he was having to leave. Mark stayed with sissy inthe waiting room and Sam and I went in to gown up and whatnot. The nurse comes in and I sign some papers and get instructions for what to do and not to do after the transfer. Then the Doctor comes in and to our great relief he tells us that one of the embies had a growth spurt and that we are transferring two. yay!!

We both got to see the embies with the microscope, they were so cute, lol The Dr. gave us both the babies 1st photos, lol
one is a blast (very good=5days old) the other is called a murula (4days old). I will save you the gory details for the transfer, lets jsut say I was mortified after the third speculum needed to be found becuase my cervix is very high!! LOL After the transfer I rested in an inclined postition for 1/2 hour, Mark came in while Sam went to sit with a sleeping Sissy! We all hugged and went our separate ways. I to my hotel bed for the next 24 hours and Sam to her lovely home.

We ordered roomservice and a movie! After that I took a nice long nap, actually when I woke up Mark and Sissy were also napping, lol We rented a second movie, then that was pretty much our day. We had to check out of the hotel at 12 even though I should have been on bedrest til 1 or 1:30ish, but I dont think that hour is gonna hurt anything. I was sitting in a car for the next 5 hours, not like I was running a marathon or anything. We got into town earlier than we had first thought we would so we called our friend Lori that was watching Gage for us on Monday, and met them at the park, Sissy got to run off some bottled up energy! We ordered a pizza ont he way home and waited for Dylans dad to bring him home.

All-in-all the trip was nice, we had pretty good weather, a little drizzle on the way down and back but not much. tuesday I took it easy! I am trying ot keep myself occupied so that I do not sit here fretting over if I am prego or not. If it is gonna happen this time it will, there is nothing any of us can do to change what will happen. I hope to get a positive on a home pregnancy test long before our scheduled blood test on Wed the 16th. But if not that will be the day we know for sure, and have to plan what to do next. Although, we pretty much have a game plan for a round two if it is needed. But it is just too early to know one way or another just yet.

Packing complete!

We leave in 5 hours, yay!!

I have taken 3 PIO (progesterone in oil) shots so far and other than a little soreness in the area of injection(my butt, lol) I have had no bruising or lumps, so far so good there.

Tomorrow will be a busy day,First we have to stop at the clinic to get my instructions for transfer day,then we will spend the first 1/2 with friends of Marks from the Marines. Then off to Sam and Griffs to cookout and meet Meredith. Sissy is so excited about this, she is telling everyone that she gets to go to Sam and Griffs!!

I can't wait to see you Sam!!

BABY MAMA

Ok first things first,

I went in for my last lining check before the transfer, to recap I forgot to ask Friday what my lining was but the nurse said my levels were good!! I went in today and the u/s tech says "I didn't think we would see you back here for another check since your lining was so nice Fri" Well, from my experience most clinics like your lining to be 8-10mm. Mine today, a full 6 days before transfer was 21mm.!! HOLY LINING BATMAN!!!! Those embies are gonna love me!!!

Secondly, you have got to see this movie trailer for BABY MAMA, its a movie about surrogacy and although it makes the surro look like a dumb white trash blonds, nothing like any of the surros I personally know, it looks freakin hilarious!! The area surro's are gonna get together and go see it, we are having proud surro shirts made to wear to it. Fun fun!!!

one week from now...

I will have S&G's embies snuggling into my belly for 9 months!! I am so happy that I have been given the opportunity to help others extend their families.

We have made the trip plans and are eagerly waiting for Fri after Mark gets home from work to get on the road. This week better go by fast, lol

The weather was nice yesterday so the kids played outside with their Easter chalk and rode their bikes. Mark did some maintanance on the truck (changed the oil and stuff for the trip) Today it is just as nice so I will clean and vaccuum the truck for the trip.

Since easyjournal has taken a hiatus...

Well, I am new to blogging and doesn't it figure that as soon as I start a blog and give out the link to it, the system goes down for a week now. UGH!!



So I have waited long enough for it to reappear!! A girls got to blog, right? So, I have temporarily relocated, if easyjournal comes back I may move back or I may just put the link to my previous journal entries here for easy access.



I am 11 days from an embryo transfer as a surrogate! This is my second journey! Hopefully I can link the older entries for you not familiar with my story to get caught up. But for now I will just go on like you already know what is going on, lol



I hope everyone had a great Easter! The bunny arrived and then Dylan left for his dads, they attended church with his dads new fiancee' and then had dinner at Grandmas. We on the other hand watched movies all day and ate leftover pizza for dinner, lol We usually go to Mark's moms for Easter dinner and an Easter egg hunt in the backyard, which the kids greatly love!! But Papa Joe's dad is in the hospital so they cancelled Easter for now! So, by the time we heard this on Saturday night, Giant Eagle was about to close due to the holiday and our cupboards were pretty bare. Definately nothing for an Easter dinner was on hand. So luckily we had ordered extra pizza Sat for dinner and we just ate that for Easter dinner, pretty pathetic huh? Oh well!!!



I am trying to make the arrangments for the kids while I am gone for a few days for the transfer. Mark was going to stay home so he would have them for the weekend and we had a friend coming while he works on Mon. Well, he just called me from work and says he really wants to come with me, he has friends stationed at Quantico and has already talked to them via Myspace and can stay with them while I am at Sam and Griffs for bedrest. I think most of the reason for this is to visit his friends, lol Not really because he is concerned with my driving that far!! I am a licencsed truck driver and can drive a big rig if I really wanted to, so I think I can handle a 5 hour car trip by myself, lol Gotta love him, and I do!! I guess we will figure it all out eventually, we have a whole 9 days to decide, plenty of time, right??

nervous...

I can never fully know the feeling of TTC (trying to conceive) and getting BFN(big fat negatives) or failed transfers or miscarriages, or even loosing an infant. I have never dealt with infertility of my own. I got pregnant 2 out of 3 of my own pregnancies while on BC (birth control). I am fertile myrtle. We transferred 2 and had twins the first time for my first surrogacy. My mother had 6 kids of which she did not plan any of us. and my Grandma had 5 and I am pretty sure she never dealt with infertility either. I come from fertile genes what can I say. I am grateful for that! I have always wanted to be a mom!! I do not know what I would have done if I where not able to have my children. That is who I am, who and where would I be if I weren't mom?

My IP's have looked to me to help them expand their family. They have been through all the above mentioned, so they know that we may need to transfer 2 times to be successful. I know that we may need to transfer 2 times to be successful. We have discused this fact and are ok with that. We all know that statistically it should work by the second transfer if need be.

So why am I getting so nervous?

Mark and I will be talking about something happening down the road and he will say "you will be pregnant by then" and I always say "hopefully". Mark says that "it will work the first time becuase you are fertile myrtle" and he is not at all concerned with having to do this twice. When people ask when I will be getting pregnant again I always say "in April" then I find the nearest piece of furniture made of wood and immediately knock on it. I was not like this with the first journey, at all.

I guess I am concerned that my luck is going to run out! I mean, i have been around the surrogacy community for long enough to see it time and time again. Transfers fail, just the truth here!! Blighted ovums and miscarriages happen. These are just the facts of life here people. I know this! I had the perfect transfer last time, 2 in and 2 out 38 weeks later. How long can my luck with fertility last. Not that my fertility has anything to do with my last pregnancy or the one to come, but still.

I guess that I just want to be the angel that brings another child into my IP's arms. I do not want to be the cause of more pain and heartache if something goes wrong. And God knows that I know how much financially this is costing them. I thank God everyday that I never had to try to find the money to hire a surrogate or just go through all the infertility treatments and meds and IVF procedures to have my own children. I fear we would have no children if that were the case. I know that my IP's have more money than we do! But honestly how much do people have to spend to have children? I wish I could do this for free, because I would. But the truth is, and this is coming from the experience of my last journey, it is hard on a surrogates family to do this. I know that my comp is what I need to be able to do this for someone else. So I do not regret having to charge it. But thinking of all the extras that add up is heartbreaking. If this transfer doesn't work, the cost of all the meds again and the monitering and all that goes with IVF, its just very disheartening. Aside from the emotional pain a failed transfer would cost my IP's, I do not want to cost them more money!

I am putting too uch pressure on myself for this transfer to work the first time. I need ot relax and let be what will be. I am really good at giving advice, not so good at taking my own, LOL NOt to mention the reminder of it all every night when I have to stick myself with hormones! Oh well, I just have to remember that it will happen, and if it takes 2 times, it takes 2 times! In the end I will get to carry a bundle (or two) of joy for Sam and Griff and make Meredith a big sister. That part I am not at all worried about, I know that it will happen!!

I know that the hormones have alot to do with this sob story, lol So, please bear with me, it will be over soon, lol

oh the head hurts!!!

So I got pretty bad headaches every afternoon while doing the mock cycle, estrogen only! Then i went on BCP's and got headaches from those too. When I started the lupron the headaches went away!! Well as soon as I started the estrogen again the headaches returned. Today it didn't even wait til the afternoon, I have it now and its only 9:30. UGH, headaches are the worst, especially with two little ones running around, my headaches dont seem to bother them at all, lol

Oh well, its all for a good cause!

We are planning a local surrogate lunch in April. The cleveland girls are coming to Boardman, near me, this time. yay!!! It is scheduled for April 26. Aimee, a local girl that I happened to go to school with and dated her brother, lol, and I should already be pregnant. Her transfer is the 11th and mine is the 6th. Another former surrogate is trying to conceive for herself after a tubal reversal in Nov. might also be pregnant by then, she is triggering tonight and should ovulate Thursday, yay for them!! Then there is another surro named Amy (from cleveland) that will transfer the week after the lunch, we are all gonna be prego together for the next 9 month, lol yay!!!

Dylan will be selling chocolate bars to help with the cost of summer camp for boyscouts. We pick up the candy tonight and sell it through April 17th ( I think) so if anyone is interested let me know, they are $1 each and there should be plain, almond, and crunch, not sure if there will be a caramel one or not!

Spring

I have been reading a friends blog and she has one day a week she doesn't blog but she posts pictures, she calls it wordless weds or something like that. Well It is warm here today, although we can't go outside to enjoy it due to the thunderstorms, so I thought I would post pics of Spring, pics of what I am dreaming of, lol

21 days to go...

I haven't really had anything of importance or even any relevance to talk about lately. We had three days of decently warmish weather in the 50's, of course it rained nonstop the entire time., go figure! Today it is back to being cold and we are supposed to get some snow tonight, yet again. Really, am I asking so much, to just be able to turn off the heat and watch my flowers bloom, I think it is about time!!

Dylan had his first cub scout camp out this weekend, thank goodness it was in a cabin with a fireplace for last nights temperature drop. He had a good time though. It was his trial run for the week long summer camp that will cost us a hand and elbow for him to attend. If he didn't behave himself this time we would not be forking out the small fortune for the summer camp. It seems that we will indeed be forking out the dough!! Which is a good thing, I guess, lol

I turned in my application to be an assistant den leader for next year, yay me!! That means that next year I will be camping alongside the boys, at least I will know how they are behaving firsthand. The boys have been working on their whittling chip, which means that they will be able to carry a pocket knife. The first meeting they went over all the rules for safety and what not, the second meeting they got to carve a bar of soap with a paring knife. It was fun to watch, Dylan was so engrossed in it that he was even ignoring his friends that were trying to talk during it. Out of all the boys, which is about 12 or 13, we only had to breakout 2 band aids, and neither of them went on my son, yay!! Next time they will be carving an actual piece of wood, God help us!!

Well, on the surrogacy side of things, I had an U/S Friday and am supposed to start my next meds today. Last Sun I received a phone call telling me I had the green light to start the last meds, I was thinking that I would get a phone call today as well but alas it is 2pm and no one has called, so I hope that I am doing the right thing by starting the estrace pills, aspirin, and lowering the lupron tonight. We are 21 days from transfer. It almost doesn't seem possible.

I will also be enjoying some pineapple! For those of you that dont hang out in the surrogacy world, there is a chemical in pineapple that is rumored to help build your uterine lining. All the surros on SMO talk about it and eat/drink lots of it prior to transfer. I wasn't aware of it last journey so didn't do it, and we were successful the first try but what can it hurt right! I love pineapple anyways, so any excuse to eat it is alright by me. And it doesn't hurt that Giant eagle had it on sale last week, lol So I will eat 1/2 a can of pineapple chunks every night til transfer, lol Mark thinks I am insane and you know he very well might be right, but oh well. I will be the insane pineapple eating fool for the next 21 days.

I am also trying to figure out my transfer outfit. The color green is the color of fertility, so I need to wear green for luck!! I did wear green last transfer just not the pineapple. Of course during the actual transfer you dont have much clothing on, socks for sure, and last time I was able to keep my shirt on! So I guess I will look for green socks and a green shirt! I am not usually superstitious, and its not that I really believe that eating pineapple while wearing green is going to make or break our transfer odds but it also can not hurt, can it?

Another step closer

We are another step closer to our goal of a baby here. I just took my last BCP! I have a suppression check on Fri and start my estrace pills on Sun. I have yet to suffer any major side effects of the lupron, yay!! I have been a little more tired though, especially in the afternoons, but God only knows if that is from the meds or just that I need to sleep more, ya know! LOL

Nothing major is happening here! All the kids are back to normal, and I am forced to remember their antibiotics for 4 more days! The boys are back in school, so that is great news!! The snow from last week has had a chance to start melting off again with the temps in the lower 40's the last 2 days. Just heard it will be 50 tomorrow!! I am so ready for Spring to be here. I planted lots of bulbs this fall since it will be our first spring inthe new house I am so excited to see them bloom!!

1 lupron shot down 22 to go

I took my first lupron shot of this cycle last night. It is just a tiny insulin needle in the belly. It was no problem at all.
About an hour after the shot I was sitting on the couch and felt like I had drank 2 glasses of wine or something. Maybe that is the "lupy" feeling everyone talks about. So far I have none of the other symptoms yet! I am sure I will update if I get anything else, I am sure something else is bound to hit at some point.

I had a ex-coworkers baby shower yesterday. I made her a baby afghan and got her some other little things. I also made another ex-coworkers baby an afghan and she was at the shower so I gave hers to her as well. Candy brought baby Abigail with her, she is 7 weeks old and just the cutest little thing. She has thous chubby breastfed cheeks, lol Kristy is pretty big, I haven;t seen her the entire pregnancy, so it was a little surprising. She looks good! I can not wait to have a baby belly again, lol Gives me a reason to be cubby, lol And I can't wait to give Sam and Griff another child and to make Meredith a big sister.

I feel so blessed to be able to help people in the way that I do. I know that the couples that I help would find another surrogate and get the children that they desire even if I were not doing it. But I am glad that I get the experience of helping.

on the mend and snow storm

well, fevers are all gone and the kids are once again driving me insane so they must be feeling better, lol
Its amazing what 24 hours of anitibiotics can do for three little kids.

It started snowing shortly after I returned home form my errands yesterday, we got about 6 inches. Then it rained all night! The roads were a mess this morning. Now it is snowing yet again and we are supposed to get an additional 2-4 inches tonight. Is it Spring yet!!

Speaking of Spring, I am pretty sure we spring ahead tonight, with no spring weather anywhere in sight!! Oh well, I guess it is bound to get here sooner or later, right? I mean it can not possibly stay winter forever, or can it?

We had plans to actually get a sitter and go out tonight for a friend of mines 30th Brithday. Mark is on his way to pick up my sister, Danielle, as I type this. I happened to check my myspace messages right before starting this, and guess what...she has cancelled the outing due to the inclement weather. Now I dont blame her at all, and I am actually glad in one way that we do not have to drive tonight in this crap, but my sister is already on her way and now we dont get to go out. We never go out, so I was looking forward to some adult conversation and a couple of drinks before I get pregnant and can't drink for the next 9 months, lol Oh well!! Maybe next weekend! Unless, of course, we are still digging out of this snow next weekend!! LOL No, that couldn't possibly happen, not in Northeastern Ohio!

sickness and Dr's apt's

So Gage got a fever last Sat and his cheeks looked like he had been outside inthe blistering cold wind for hours, but he had not stepped outside in at least 2 days. So I gave him tylenol and checked WebMD about the rash, upon closer inspection he also had the rash on his belly, chest, and back. WebMD says 5th disease, and to treat the fever but the rash is viral and nothing you can really do for it. Before rash starts you are contagious but after rash appears your not and you can even go to school. But the fever lasted and lasted, even with alternating motrin and tylenol every 4 hours!! I finally brokedown Thurs and called the Ped. they had me bring him in to make sure it was 5th disease and not something else.

Even though he never once complained of a sore throat it appears he has strep throat which has turned to scarlet fever!! Sissy has it too! And Dylan got off the bus complaining of a sore throat!! Yes, all three of my kids have strep, what are the chances of me and Mark not getting it? Probably not too good!!

I had my baseline U/S this morning and of course I am spotting, ugh!! I sure do hate BCP's I always have breakthrough bleeding and its sucks to have to go in and have something done while your having spotting. Anyways, got that done so I can start to get LUPY on Sun. Its a med called Lupron and many people get airheaded and moody, etc. so the surrogates fondly refer to it as getting lupy on lupron. I have no personal experience with it but have heard all the horror stories of it. Its just a little insulin type subQ needle, meaning it goes in the fat of my belly, and there is plenty of fat on my belly so it should be ok. I am not worried about this shot once a day at all. I have started warning my family and friends that anything I do or say in the next 3 weeks is out of my control and to not take any of it personally. LOL

As I sit here typing, Mark is behind me calling me a computer DORK!!! He doesn't get hte whole idea of reading let alone writing for the pure joy of doing so. Come to think of it I do not even know if my husband knows how to read!! LOL He has never picked up a book in the 8 years I have known him, he doesn't even read directions when need be, he prefers to "wing it" LOL Well, I am pretty sure he can read, he just refusses to. So who is the true dork here, lol

It has begun to snow pretty hard, good thing my running around was all done early this morning. I hear we are supposed to get 8-9 inches between now and Sun morning! And the kids are sick, so they will be asking, no probably begging to go outside and sled ride, but I will have to be the meany and say no!! sometimes, I hate being the mom!!!

Journey #2 background

Since nothing major is going on today, I thought it time to tell you a little about my current surrogacy journey since that will likely be what most of the entries for the next, oh, say year of my life will be about.

At one point during my first surrogay, I said out loud even, that I would not be doing another surrogacy unless it was for a family member that needed my help! Of course that was during the puking every 1/2 hour phase of it all. and once that was done and I was feeling better and the babies were kicking and all the fun stuff, I took that statement back.

I delivered the twins May 31, 2007 and started looking at adds on SMO like a week later, lol Seeing the expression on my IF's face was what truely sealed it for me. He was to thankful of me for giving him his children, I just had to share that with someone again. I, of course waited for my 6 week post pardem check up to ask my OB when she would release me to get knocked up again, fully expecting her to say wait a year, you have had 4 preveous c-sections. I went in there and didn't even have to ask, she says to me, so are you going to do this again? and when I said yes, she says well just wait at least 6 month pp!! I almost hugged her, I was so excited that I wouldn't have to wait a whole long year!!

I sat down the next day, yes I waited a whole day, and typed up an add to place on SMO, fully intending to go at this independantly since I already knew what I was getting in to and I did have a few problems with getting my comp checks out of the last agency I went through so I did not want to do that again. Well, the email replys started rolling in! I let everyone know that I couldn't get started til Nov. That didn't seem to be a problem for most! But after reading and even emailing back and forth with a few couples I was finding it a bit daunting. I started to worry about scammers and such. When I got a response from a lady on SMO who co-owns an agency. She saw I was looking and knew I had delivered twins fullterm and had a couple looking for someone who had done just that. So< she asked if I minded looking at their profile. I jumped on it, since Dana had screened the couple already so I wasn't having to trust my gut as much! They could not start til Jan due to sperm quaratine of 6 months, but that was ok by me if it was a good match, it just gave my poor uterus more time to fully heal.

I read the profile and immediately told Dana that I would love to talk to them. They had been through a lot trying to conceive. % IVF cycles for themselves with no pregnancy, finally got pregnant via IVF only to miscarry and then a twin pregnancy. After finally getting pregnant with the twins, everything that could possilby go wrong did go wrong. The IM went in for her level II U/S at 18 weeks and discovered she was fully dialated!!! They put in an emergency cerclage and was on strict hospital bedrest til her water broke at 24 weeks and the babies had to be delivered. ONe of the girls died after 9 days and the other spent 6 months in the hospital, had 3 surgeries and was very sick for a long time. I am happy to tell you that she just celebrated her 2nd birthday!!!


Meredith is the smaller one!!

Upon speaking to Sam (the IM) I knew that I had to help make Meredith a big siser. I wanted to say to her on the phone that first time, please let me help you!! But I kept my cool and waited to talk to Dana the next day, and they actually wanted to ask me on the phone that day if I would help them but they too waited. lol yay!!!
Sam and I are alot alike, although she is very out going and bubbly, where I am on the shyer side. We both like to scrapbook and be crafty though. lol We started emailing back and fourth and she decided she wanted to drive up here and visit in person. So, she did, we went to a scrapbook store in New castle and had lunch at Applebees and I took her over to see where the hospital and my OB's office were at. We had a great visit and I just knew that I had made the right decision in working with her.

I called around and found a local clinic to have my testing done at and got started on that. Sent all my records to their clinic in VA. Mark had his blood tests all done. Then we drove to VA to have a session with the psychologist that they had been seeing through their infertility and the loss of their daughter. Mark and I both went and had a lovely time meeting with both Sam and Griff. I was under the false presumption that Griff would be the opposite of his wife, but I was pleasantly surprised. We liked them very much!! They put us up in a very nice hotel and we had breakfast there in their cafe. and after the appointment we went over to see where the clinic was and then we drove to aunt Juju's house to stay the night and visit. So, it was a great little vacation, lol
Griff, Sam and Meredith

Well, I had to do a mock cycle this time around which means i had to take the meds that I will take for the transfer for 2 weeks and have 2 u/s to check how things where going. So Dec. rolls around and we are ready to do the mock, and my period shows up, I call the clinic to start the meds and they figureout that I would have needed one of the u/s on christmas day and you have to have it done at a certain time, so we scrapped it for that month and waited til my cycle in Jan, well it was a week late, so I call and get put on provera which will help it along, so took that for 10 days before the witch decided to show up, putting us even more off schedule. Did the mock cycle, everything went well, waited for the call from the clinic that we could get started on the real deal.

So, that pretty much brings us to the now. I have a baseline u/s tomorrow morning and will start the first of my meds on Sun 3/9. We will transfer around April 6th. 4 months later than we could have, and a whole 10 months from my last surrogacy delivery. All things happen for a reason, my uterus has had extra time to heal and be ready to carry again, Sam and I have had more time to get to know one another. Its all good, it just seems like it took forever to get here, but it is upon us now, lol

OH FEDEX man, where are you??

8am~~~I am sitting here, waiting for the big old box of meds to arrive! Only a surrogate would ever look forward to a big box of needles and odd, mood changing, weight gain causing, bottles of hormones to arrive. I can not wait to see what all is in store for me in the next couple of weeks and if the transfer is successful and I end up pregnant it will continue for the first 8-12 weeks of the pregnancy.

Update
11am~~~oh FEDEX man...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

where oh where is my fedex man, oh where oh where can he be...

Does he not realize I am dying to open that great big box of meds today!

I have been up listening to every car, truck, and postal vehical that has come anywhere near my street since 7 am. It is now 11, aaaahhhhhhhh!!

Ok, I am alright, just had to get that out!!

Now back to the window I go to watch the street,in hopes he will be pulling in any minute now!!

I am sure that there are a million things I could be doing right now, but I just can not pull myself away form the front window!! My neighbors probably think I am a crackhead or something,

If you want to send me some be patient vibes I would gladly except them, lol


Update part2
11:30am~~~Ok so I hear the truck puling up and the dog starts his, someone is here I am so freaking happy, dance!! So I move to the window....







UPS????






I get the package which mind you is absolutley enormous!!!!!






Surround sound equipement my DH ordered!!! UGH!!! oh and another small soft package that is the curtains I bought for my bedroom. So as I am opening the curtains, because I had forgotten about them, I ordered them 3 weeks ago and they were on backorder til April23, well they came early, lol
so, as I am opening them the dog starts the dance again, he is a jack russell so by dance I totally mean, jumping as high as my shoulders and barking his head off!!! I look out my bedroom window and its him, the Fedex truck is pulling in!!!

yay, they are here!!! I got the little sharps container and all!!

woofreakinwho!!!! what a great day for deliveries!!!


Curtains are up, meds looked at and put away from little 3 and 5 year old hands and a call in to the clinic because they forgot my prenatals and I had to give them the fax number to my local clinic so they can fax the orders for my monitering U/s and B/W!!!

Now I get to not so patiently await 10pm on Sunday night to start the lupron!!

thanks for tuning in, and back to your regularly scheduled lives!!

Journey #1 recap

Thought I would take today to talk about my first surrogacy journey since nothing exciting is happening today with my new journey and nothing exciting usually happens in my regular life, lol

I always thought that if I knew someone who could not conceive that I would help them to have a baby, I love being pregnant that much, lol I had no idea that you could be a surrogate for people that you originally did not know. Until, one day I was reading this little free paper that comes to our house once a week and there was an add for surrogate mothers. I called the number for more information. Here it was placed by an atorney that acts as an agency for matching surrogate and IP's (intended parents). I requested an information packet and set out to feelMark out to see what he thought of the idea. Well, he was pretty much all for it, as long as I DID NOT have to bring a baby home, lol

So, the packet arrived, I filled out the application all but one question. When was the first day of your last menstral cycle? Well, it was due in a couple of days so I decided to wait and have the most accurate date for the application. Well, I waited and I waited, and I finally took a HPT (home pregnancy test) and low-n-behold, I was pregnant with our little girl! So, I did not send in that application, lol We had Mackenzie and I put ht esurrogacy on hold til she was 18 months, then the urge to be prego again started to hit, so I decided to give that aganey a call and request a new application. I sent it in May of 2006, got a call 3 days later for an over the phone interview, got my first profile sent to me 3 days after that, and spoke to the PIP's 3 days after that. We hit it off right off the bat! Two weeks later Mark, the kids, and I were driving to NYC. Well, not quite but we did visit there.

We met the IP's in person on that trip. I had all my testing done in one shot, turned in all my medical records, and went home to await the call from the RE (reproductive endocronologist) saying that I was accepted and what the next step was. That was July 7,2006. The office was closing for the month of August for a remodel of their surgical suite so we had to wait til Sept to start the protocal.

Oh, I should tell you a little about the IP's...
The mother had 3 kids of her own from a previous marriage, they were 17 b, and 9 yr old b/g twins. their father left for work on morning and has never returned. He worked in the twin towers! The father had no children of his own. He was married before and lost his wife to cystic fibrosis. The night of his wifes funeral his friends took him for some drinks and there was a woman there with her friends as well. They migrated to one another due to their losses, they became friends in grief and later fell in love! The IM (intended mother) was not able to carry on her own and her eggs were already getting "old" so we used an ED (egg donor) and the IF's (intended father) sperm.

Ok so, I am part of an online community of surrogates called www.surrromomsonline.com and we have names for all the different transfer months. I should have tranferred on Sept 29th so we were the Sept. Sunflowers, which I thought was perfect because I love sunflowers. Well, the ED needed a coule of more days to stimulate so we ended up transferring on Oct 3, 2006, 2 perfect embryos. I started testing on HPT's on 3dp4dt (which translates to 3 days past a 4 day transfer) and on 5.5dp4dt I got my first BFP (big fat positive) and at my first BETA (blood test for HCG) at 14dp4dt it was 1320 and we immediately knew it was twins!! That of course wasn't confirmed for a couple of weeks but we knew, lol

Short version of the pregnancy is...I felt tired but great up til 9 weeks when the puking began, at least 5 times a day for the next 9 weeks! I had never experienced M/S (morning sickness) before in any of my own 3 pregnancies, and let me tell you IT SUCKED!!!! Ok, so that finally went away and I was feeling very tired, even though the 2nd trimester is supposed to be the time your energy comes back, well mine never did, and I was extremely thirsty all the time. Well, I failed my 1 hour glucose test by 4 points, so my OB sent me for the 3 hor test and I failed 2 of the 3 blood draws so I was diagnosed with GD (Gestational Diabetes). I ajusted my diet and checked my numbers 4 times a day, never had to go on meds so that was good. I got RLS (restless leg syndrome) and pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, which was the worst part I think. Other than thoughs things the pregnancy went pretty well for a twin pregnancy. I did develop High blood pressure the last month before delivery, spent 3 days int he hospital on bedrest and to monitor for protein in the urine which would have indicated PreEclampsia, which I did not have, It was just PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) As long as I laid on my left side most of the day my BP was pretty good. I was sent home on modified bedrest (laying on left side as much as possible, but I was allowed up to pee and shower and to eat. I made it to my schedule 38 week c-section with no more problems.
2 hours before section


Katie and Michael where born on May 31, 2007 and weighed in at K-6lb11oz and M-7lb9oz!! Yeah, BIG for twins!!




I do get occasional updates, of course I have to be the one that emails the parents first but they do respond and send pics.

1 week old


1 month old


not sure how old here



or here


family christmas card 2007 babies were about 6 months old here


and that is the last that I have gotten, I am due to send them off an email request for updates, they are now over 9 months old!

Thats, of course the cliff notes version of that journey! I will do better with this one, I promise! lol

Personal background

This is the first time I am attempting to keep a journal. I have never been good at keeping up with diarys or anything like that but I will make an effort, lol
My name is Kari, I am 32 years old. April 19, 2003 I married my soul mate, Mark! Next month will be our 5th anniversary, already!! WOW, time flies!! I am the mama of 3 great kids. Dylan is from a previous (if you can call it that even) relationship. He just turned 9 years old, and that makes me OLD!! He is very smart, sometimes too smart and in the 3rd grade. He battles ADHD but he is doing much better with some med adjustments. He is a great kid, he just has a hard time listening sometimes. He has a big heart! Mark and I have a son together, Gage is 5 1/2 now, he is definately a mama's boy! He goes to kindergarten 1/2 days and loves school. He took after his mother and is a thumb sucker but he also took after his father and is a blanky boy so he has the best of both of us, lol He is very sensitive sometimes, but he can hold his own against his brother for the most part. And then there is Sissy (Mackenzie) she is 3 3/4, I used to consider her a daddies girl but recently she has changed to a mama's girl, haha daddy, I got her back! She is the toughest of them all. I thought I was getting a sweet little princess but instead I got a rough and tough tomboy! Which is perfectly alright by me, but she is the most rambunctious of them all. Also the most strong willed, ok she is down right BAD most of the time. LOL But I love her to death and just take her attitude with a grain of salt. Oh and she is a thumb sucker as well as having a hunny bunny that she drags everywhere.Notice bunny in the picture, lol

So, thats my family, now a little about me personally. I like to crochet, cross stitch, read, scrapbook, gardening and making homemade cards, along with some other crafty things. Of course when I say crafty I mean if it is shown to me or in a book or magazine I can follow along and the results are normally pretty good, but I can' not for the life of me come up with ideas on my own. So I rely on my SIL Leslie and a mutual friend Jen Kohn, aka stampin Jen or just the Kohnster, for insiration, lol I love being pregnant but we are done with our own family, 3 is quite enough for us, thank you very much!! So I have taken up having babies for others, I am a Gestational surrogate, aka Just the stork, or as some put it the incubator. This story I will make its own entry!I love spring and summer and fall is ok, but its just a reminder that the dreaded OHIO winter is quickly approaching. I try to be as optimistic as I can be but there is an inner pessimist lurking around every corner, lol Things are pretty good for us, we have been through some struggles and we continue to struggle everyday but we have eachother and we have love so thats all we need to get by.
We just got our first home. We moved in June 1, 2007 We have recently started with updates and such to it. We have lots of plans for this year with remodling and stuff. I am sure I will have lots to write about all that. Two weeks ago with retextured and added color to our livingroom.
Ok gonna end this now, can't tell you everything in one entry, then there would be nothing to talk about in the future, lol